Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Drink Me



 

I suppose if you've been reading my rambling reflections as of late, you may have noticed a trend.  Reassessment.  This year wasn't a "big" birthday year, but I'm getting closer to one....and farther from another.  The boys are becoming young men who now set their own alarm clocks and get up before me for school. (simply amazing, that)  And I've had some earthquakes as well as aftershocks in my personal relationships. ("unfriending" forty people on fb, including your sister, will do that)  I sense that youthful phase of believing one is invincible has passed.  Mortality has introduced herself.  She's lovelier than I expected. 

Simply put, I think I've arrived at something of a crossroads.  A point where every moment of my waking hours will no longer be spent in constant supervision of three bumbling little ones that schemed to ride big wheels off the garage roof.  I'm not quite as....in demand as I once was.  For so long I've been "his wife" and "their mother" that I've lost touch a bit with....me.  This is such a natural part of motherhood, sometimes I think my very heart beat in time with my boys.  And falling in love again swept me into that world of devotion where it gets a little blurry, the lines between he and I.  However, there is a hint of a new wind in the air...

Perchance it is the whisper of spring.  You can almost feel the roots beneath the soil awakening, stretching out the knots after a winter's slumber.  The early bulbs have pushed their tiny green noses from the dirt, sniffing to see if the sun awaits.  The rain feels different, less angry.  And thus the world sets the stage for rebirth.  The annual re carpeting of forest floors with blades of emerald green, crimson poppies stain the hills, daffodils spin their waltz among shards of turquoise shells fallen from nests-a-peeping.  The surge of life sweeps a cloak of color across the world....and the planet breathes.

I adore this idea of rebirth.  The notion that one can emerge new...transformed.  I fell in love with Alice when I was eleven, her Wonderland held my heart and my dreams.  Oh, how I longed for labeled bottles with sweet potions that might take my awkward klutzy six feet of knocking elbows and knees and morph me into a petite and graceful swan. *sigh*  This obviously was not to be and in time I made peace with my frame, but I never lost the fascination. 

I feel a change coming.  A shifting of the gravity in my life.  I think I'd like to dance more this summer.  And wear less clothing.  I'm one those planners and watchers and make-up-for-other's-mistakers....and while one never really can spurn the responsibility gene if you've had it implanted before you could walk (thank you mum and dad),  I hope it is possible to find more balance. 

You really do only get one round on this ferris wheel, make it count.

Embrace your Alice... 

Drink me.

.

20 comments:

BamaTrav said...

That's very well written. Spring can do that to people, animals too, wait, we are animals. You know what I mean. It's refreshing to read, a lot of bloggers are usually in pity mode. At least you see the glass half full, or perhaps....full. :)

Out on the prairie said...

very nice thought train to share. I lke te changes you describe,I have been through a few similar ones.As a parent we forget about our lives somewhat as they meld with our families.I miss this action a bit, but found a new person in me and like it just as well.

Did you know you have a wierd word comfirm on your comments?

mermaid gallery said...

the crayfish in our fish tank just shed his skin and ate it....then emerged to be twice the size he once was....rebirth does that!

Shrinky said...

I can so empathise with where you are at right now, I've found myself looking around me as of late, and feeling exactly the same way. Yes, here's to rebirth, and to fresh, yet to be explored pasures, eh?

Chantel said...

BamaTrav--the glass is always full here...well, we're talking about whiskey, right?

Prairie--I'm so glad you've discovered you! (and thanks for the heads up--blogger did that to everyone's blog, grrrr!)

Mermaid--I love that example!

Shrinky--Amen my love, cheers!

ND Mitchell said...

Loved your description of spring. It's my favourite time of year and your post makes me anticipate it even more.

Blissed-Out Grandma said...

It was lovely to read this, enhanced by listening to "Breathe."

BamaTrav said...

If you're pouring. Watch out for me when I get drunk though. I might start flirting.

The Path Traveled said...

Chantel,
Hello. I just received the Notebook Journey and when I saw your page I Loved it! I had to come see the person behind that page and I found this beautiful blog. Your Art is really amazing and what I have read so far on your blog are beautifully written posts.
I have five blogs. I hope you will come visit, sit and read a spell, join, and come back often. I will be getting my page done soon and it will move on...

Murr Brewster said...

"Drink me." You do know that could make you taller. Or, to put it another way, more wonderful. Happy spring!

Chantel said...

Mitchell--thank you, I think I'm counting the days till daffodils!

Bliss--thank you, it is a great song to remind us just to slow down, inhale. :)

BamaTrav--Have to admit I'm a slightly heavy handed bar tender...

The Path--oh, thank you! I had wondered what happened to that book and I'm thrilled it's still making its way around the globe!

Murr--oh dear, not taller please! lol Happy spring to you!

Justine said...

Stopping by from the Finally Friday Hop! http://queenofsavings.com

Seny said...

I love spring, favorite time of the year! thanks for the visit!

Sarah Kate said...

What a great post, Chantel! Every year the spring brings out some of these same feelings for me. Rebirth is such a good word!

Funny that you mention unfriending 40 people on FB. I just read a story this morning about people deleting friends in mass quantaties, and being much more selective about who they add. I recently made the same sort of purge (although my sister did make the cut!) and it was incredibly liberating!!

SJB aka SUELYN J-B. said...

visit you!

Mom et al said...

I was driving home this evening and noticed how the sky is starting to shine a little brighter a little longer; the first sign for me that spring is coming. That is where I start to sense new possibilities on the horizon, and it is exactly that feeling of rebirth that cheers my spirit. Here's to new opportunities and change for the better.

Chantel said...

Justine & Seny--nice to meet you!

Sarah kate--perhaps spring just inspires us to re-think a bit, and oh, how fb has become a marketing mess! It does make one want to tread carefully, doesn't it?

SJB--saw you first! ;)

Maria--soul sisters, I'm telling you! lol

Brooke Becker said...

A crossroad is always an inspiring place to be.

le Chef said...

I think we're on the same chapter of life. My Alice has been screaming in my ear, and I've tried to ignore her, so life took up the trumpet and added to the din.
These words. I have so needed them in a way I couldn't explain. Life is shifting, gravity is loosening, and I think that this time in our woman's lives is when we're suppose to allow it, and fly.

Chantel said...

Brooke--absolutely agreed.

Chef--well said, my Alice just refuses to be silent. Should be an interesting summer...