"Your hair always looks so nice." she sighed, her voice slightly peevish with envy. "Well, it doesn't look this way when I wake up!" I joked, attempting to shrug off the situation. She sighed again, touching her own dry brittle curls. "It's just not fair!" So I began to cautiously explain that I use a ten minute conditioner on my hair twice a week and a balm in the morning to tame any frizz. Then I generally toss it up in a few hot rollers while I sip coffee and... "That's too much work!" she exclaimed, shaking her head. "I don't have time for that!"
Perhaps it was the day....stress....frustration....but I squinted a bit as I replied, "Well, then you don't deserve great hair." Her mouth dropped a little as I turned and walked away.
I admit, I was a bit harsh that day, but I am shocked and dismayed at how many people I encounter in a week that seem caught in a sticky web of immobilized frustration. They're baffled that the world isn't working out quite the way they'd hoped....but in that same moment, don't know who to blame! And there, my friends, is the goop of the matter. For blame indeed, is a viscous thing. As you fling it about, it spatters the room and leaves you covered as much as your targets.....rather maddening, really.
I've blamed. Lost years a ways back attempting to ferret out who was at fault for the left turn my life had taken. Alas, the quest ended with me standing in front of a mirror. The frame chipped, the glass cracked...but truth is truth. The choices had been mine. There were other actors on that stage, but I was there as well. If I wanted something different, something greater--it was up to me. In that sentence, in accepting that reality, thus enters the magic...
Effort.
The aspiration, the application, the battle. The discipline, intention and push. Resolution, struggle.....and triumph. They are all ours. It's in the effort where we discover how strong we are. Our capability, our cleverness, and our power. Within each of us is a life to be lived. Not endured or tolerated....we were meant for more than that.
Dreams, desires and goals + effort = success, fulfillment and joy.
Dreams, desires and goals + more dreams = wishes. And if wishes were fishes, we'd walk upon the sea.
Dreams, desires and goals + whining & complaining = will likely cost you the relationship you have with anyone who actually is on the road to success, fulfillment and joy.
I have one thing I tell anyone who is "always late" or "doesn't have enough time" to get something done. Watch less TV and get up earlier. Period. Our nation is in the midst of an epidemic of lethargy. Yes, you can see it in our physical health--but it's also there in our divorce rates, our juvenile centers, and our alcohol consumption. I feel like we have taken what is supposed to be simple, and crammed a zillion other things into that equation. All of the "what ifs" and "buts" that we can imagine; excuses and reasons for our lack of success....when the monster in the room is seated dead center in the rejection of our own potential.
YOU were meant to be amazing. But amazing doesn't happen by accident! It doesn't fall from the sky and rarely mails itself to your door. Opportunity may do that....but then, the amazing part is in your hands. In mine.
You want a deeper marriage? A better sex life? Respectful kids and an obedient dog, a cleaner house? Great hair?? Then research, come up with a plan, and begin.
My dreams are certainly different than many, the content isn't ever up for debate. (I once met a woman whose heart's desire it was to dye her hair purple and ride elephants...I smile every time I think of her and hope she is a lovely shade of violet) Wrapping your mind, your time, and your muscles around the reality that is the dream? That is the beginning.
And the beginning...is within your grasp.
