Because a life unexamined is lived without intention.
Thursday, October 3, 2013
The air smells like spring seduced late summer and drenched the night in promises. Somewhere between possibility and substance, the evening hovers. A strange shade of autumn.
But the clouds seem darker.
I nudged his knees apart as he sprawled on the creased coffee brown leather couch, remote in hand. The speckling of pin pricks over his shoulder a silent reminder of the Christmas kitten that filled my heart with joy and, years later, with grief as I buried him.
"What's up?" he murmured as I sank down, my hip fitting into the space between his. My shoulders dropped slowly towards his chest. I swear the night paused as my abdomen curled...my head dipped...
And his heartbeat became the universe.
The thud that embodies tomorrow, no matter the anxiety of today. The literal fading of 'to do' lists and apprehensions and doubt.
Thump, thump, thump...
Footsteps on the stairs, my fourteen year old son coming down for a snack before bed. I lay there, the muscular drum echoing in my ear; my hair, uncut since January, tangled about us. Footsteps retreating. Recognition of a moment that, while he may not understand, my eldest knew I needed.
Amazing...astounding what fifteen minutes surrounded by the throb of another's heart can do for the equilibrium of a soul.