Lately, I've found myself evaluating. It's a bit of a process, must say. To assess, to survey. You see, I think there is an epidemic going round. It may sound strange...but an epidemic of tomorrow.
The funny thing, is that I feel that it began with an epidemic of yesterday.
I have a pet peeve that at times erupts in the most awkward of circumstances. It's those people that continually harangue about what should have been. What might have....what could have or would have, in my humble opinion, has absolutely no value. Ziltch. Repetitive clamoring over the job she almost got, the date he should have had, or what happened at last year's holiday bash that wrecked my neighbor's shot at a raise.....well, it's over. The only thing that truly matters, is what IS. I do NOT want to hear what a great doctor you would have made...but now you're a stripper. Seriously.
I suppose it makes my heart ache a bit, for those souls that live by re-living. They miss out on so much and seem perpetually starved. As if they've never tasted the delicious thrill of what IS. Is life so disappointing? Can it hinge so imperatively on past choices or events that recovery is impossible? Did you know...there are entire cook books on what to do with lemons.
But then, we rebounded. The oceanic surge of Oprahesque promise and Philenthropic (ha, I slay me!) hope has nearly asphyxiated us with tomorrow. Bulging eyes and blue veins throbbing, we are clutching the future with desperate claws, a death grip on aspiration. For we have believed a lie...
That we can have it all.
It's a lovely lie. A cozy, soft warm lie. It's wrapped in tasty layers of potential and possibility. Anything could happen, right? Pretty Woman taught me that. But this lie is a devastating thief. Such a nimble one, nearly invisible we don't even suspect that he's there, in the room with us....stealing the jewel. Our today.
I'm truly not insane and I don't mean to imply that we should never plan or prepare for tomorrow--grocery shopping every day would drain me before I even began the feast. However, I've known so many people, who are living for tomorrow. "When I get a raise...when we buy a house...when I graduate, when I'm skinny, when I'm married...." These things are indeed there, just up ahead....but not today.
Today is splendid. Today is real. Wrap your arms around it and embrace the astonishing miracle that is...now.
23 comments:
My goodness, what a wonderful verbal kick up the bum you've just given me! I need not just to read this, but to action it. "Tomorrow", I am always going to be sooo produtive (blush).
Time to get a grip, eh?
Oh I'm excellent at enjoying the NOW (and doing the BORING stuff 'tomorrow' such as the evil aforementioned grocery shopping. I do not love grocery shopping.).
Happy St. Patty's Day!
Love,
Lola
"What might have....what could have or would have, in my humble opinion, has absolutely no value. Ziltch."
Totally agree!
Lovely pic...
I'm a little torn. I get what you are saying, and agree with you that there is little point in dwelling on the past (so long as we have learned from it) and yet it is a philosophy that to me suggests not only that we should live for today, but also that we should not have dreams. I think there needs to be a balance. Certainly live your life to the fullest each day, but also have goals to work towards. If I did not have dreams of what could be, I would become complacent and not strive to better myself; and a desire to better myself does not mean that I am not happy with my current life. Just my two cents. : ) Very thought provoking!
Lovely post and so well said. As always, my little one is such an inspiration. Seeing the world through her eyes snaps me into the present and I am so appreciative of that gift. There is a reason that yesterday and tomorrow are difficult to see - because they become obscured by TODAY, which should be in the foreground always. Yesterday and tomorrow have their values - one to learn from, one to be motivated by, but Today is a gift that will never come again. I agree, wrap your arms around it!
Shrinky--lol, your bum is safe from me--but doing today...makes tomorrow easier. (chuckle) Hello pot, my name is kettle...
Lola--plan the menus, do the shopping and then sit back and love TODAY! (and write about it, of course)
Kirsty--I've known too many people who make choices today...on what MIGHT have happened. They miss so much!
Maria--you're completely right, balance is the goal. I've just recently been inundated by people who cannot seem to find the joy in today...they exist only for tomorrow. I once got a fortune cookie that read: "The onion you are eating is someone else's water lily." We miss the beauty by always wanting more. I don't mean to necessarily live for today...but to appreciate today. You only get one. Sometimes I have to remind myself--my children, my husband, the sun...tomorrow may be rainy, the chidren grow...I want to relish today. (chuckle) Now the laundry is a stretch...
Therese--whoops, you slipped in while I was typing! And you are so right...the eyes of a little one are the greatest reminder of how lovely, how amazing...and how fleeting today truly is.
This is beautifully written and so true! My sister called me recently. She is in the midst of a divorce and is truly caught up in the what might have, should have........." She has three boys that need her so I told her, not as eloquently as you stated above, that she needs to focus on now!
Well, you can own this, because you are.
http://lafindumondfarm.blogspot.com/2010/03/spent.html
My hubby used to remind me periodically that life needs to be lived in little moments. I tended to keep working, working, no time for family and fun. I thought fun had to wait until after I retired. It took a long time to learn that you need to live in balance...make time NOW because your babies will be grown up and gone all too soon. And holding onto anger and what-should-have-been wastes so much of our valuable time and energy!
Dang girl, we are in tune! :)
Love ya!
Very well said!
New follower this Friday!
Love it! It took my two year old having a stroke to learn to live in the moment and to cherish them all. I've also had to learn not to look back because it's to sad to dwell on what he lost. So we focus on what we have. He's still with us and being with us with disabilities is far better than the alternative. Found you on Friday Follow. I hope you'll stop by our chaos soon. http://www.erinamundsen.blogspot.com
I left you an award on my blog!
Love,
Lola
This is again, a fantabulous reminder of how we need to be looking at life. Thank you. I needed to be reminded.
What is Friday Follow??
I feel like a dolt.
Happy mom--and safe too! lol I enjoy your tips and nice to meet you!
VKT--so true, I think sometimes it's hardest to focus on now--when now is painful. Having been through a divorce w/ young children, I understand that. But I was blessed, they kept me centered.
Jessica--cheers, my chef!
Bliss--I can relate! I am FIGHTING to pay attention to 'today' because I've missed more than a few. Tomorrow seems....powerful. But I'm learning!
Danielle--great minds and all that. :)
Pam & Heather--thank you and nice to meet you!
Erin--you inspire me! I can only imagine the pain as well as the joy you've found...I will be by for a read!
Lola--AN AWARD!?! Adore you.
Dina--with your little angel I can only imagine how fast the time is flying! TODAY is lovely, isn't it? :) (and you said 'fantabulous!")
Chantal, love your writing. Appreciate the kick in the proverbial back side. And besides ... who wants it all? To quote Mick and boys "You can't always get what you want. But if you try somehow you just might find you get what you need."
Salut ... drop by anytime. Cheers!
To take your words literally, I'm gonna do it! I'm going to embrace every little soggy piece of this day. It's silly of me to wait for the rain to stop, that's why they invented umbrellas.
Magnolia--and sometimes, what you need surprisingly isn't what you want....lol! (damn, mom--are you always right?)
Ann--Umbrellas rock--and honestly, go find one that is FUN. One that makes you smile! One that you literally look FORWARD to the excuse to get it out...I have one with huge flowers on it--bring on the rain! (and yes, sometimes I spin in a circle walking down the sidewalk with it just because it makes me happy)
What a clarion call. I love this post and Twittered a quote from it and a link half way through reading it.
Your voice sings out so beautifully in it.
YES.YES. YES.
I agree. It has been a struggle to get myself to remember that, though :)
Another lovely essay as usual, Chantel, and one which personally hits home. So often I fall in this trap of bemoaning the past instead of living in the now. Thanks for a great reminder to keep my focus in the present!
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